Facebook Avatar and Tin Tin – How Abhilash Sees Them

The Facebook Effect Front Cover

Tin Tin’s Face

 

These days I am reading the book “The Facebook Effect” by David Kirkpatrick. I read 1/3^rd of the book at Ranjith’s place and borrowed it to finish reading at my home. But here I face a serious problem. My 3 years and 10 months old son, Abilash thinks it is a Tin Tin book because the Facebook avatar image on the book’s cover is, for his imagination, similar to that of Tin Tin’s. Both have a flipped up tufts and Abhi thinks both the images represent Tin Tin. So, he would grab the book from me and turn over pages to see more Tin Tin images. Finally he would come back to me with the book and ask me to read it for him!!!! However much I try to explain him that it is not a Tin Tin book or not even a story book, he doesn’t believe. He wants to hear Tin Tin story with the book. Problem has become so chronic that I have to read the book only when he is asleep.

Abhi and the “Lappop”

I made it a point not to take my office laptop home as I thought it would reduce my productive time with the family. But last week I had to take it home as I had to use it in a tuition class on the way. Abhi wanted to see what it was. (He had used my previous laptop when he was very small but he cannot remember it now.) As soon as the laptop was opened he was mesmerized with it. First I showed him Tin Tin movie and next his own photos and videos taken when he was small. He was very happy to see how he looked when he was small. Then I showed him how to draw pictures in MS Paint. He mastered it fast. Drawing, coloring, erasing didn’t take much time for him to learn. He wanted to undo a step. I showed him CTRL+Z option but he found an easier option, the right clicking on the drawing which I didn’t know. Then I taught him how to type in MS Word and he started with typing alphabet and now tries to do the same with different colors.

Abhi wants me to search for pictures and videos on the Net. His favorite picture is Tin Tin running with Snowy. He wants to see the pictures of gorillas, parrots, Spiderman, etc. He also loves YouTube videos. His favorite clip is the bullet train accident in China. He views it several times, yet not enough. He also loves double decker buses in England.

Abhi is not happy when I take the laptop to office. “Appachchi, (dad) leave the ‘lappop’ (that’s how he calls the laptop) for me. I want to draw once I come back from Montessori,” he would say. But I have to take it to the office. I promise him to bring it back in the evening and he is not happy. “Then leave me the phone to play games” is the next request which I cannot comply with. But I ensure I take the laptop home every evening. Abhi shows every sign of becoming a computer expert.

Tin Tin and Snowy

Abhi wants a wife!!!

It was with great pleasure I went to Ja- Ela during weekend to see Abhi, my 3 ½ years old son after about a month’s time. He too was delighted to see me and was with a broad smile when I entered home. I wanted to cuddle him at once but had to have a good wash first as it was unhygienic to cuddle him before a bath. Besides, Abhi is very particular about cleanliness. He won’t stand anyone without concerns of personal hygiene.

After a bath I carried him and asked if he loves me. He said, “No. Because you leave me for work.” I felt very sorry and am trying all ways to be with him more often than this. I would love to help his homework given by the Montessori. He does all the homework very well and needs some additional homework too. He is very neat about his books, pastels, stationary and toys. He has a way of handling them and anyone messing up with them will have to face Abhi’s resistance.

I took Abhi to the barber. I too wanted a haircut since he was my favorite barber and Abhi too wanted exactly the same haircut I had. To go to the barber, Abhi demanded a bribe of an ice-corn from the supermarket. After he selected his favorite, I paid the cashier and asked Abhi to eat the ice-corn. But Abhi said, “Mum has asked me not to eat food on the road. I will take this home and eat.” Then I explained him that the ice-corn will melt on the way and he had to eat it. He very reluctantly started eating it.

Abhi doesn’t like his mum wearing long skirts. He wants her to wear shorter and smarter skirts. I heard that actor Shah Rukh Khan’s son also wanted the same thing! Kids are very particular about how their parents look. He wants me to shave my beard too. I have the permission to grow only the moustache.

While doing a lesson on English alphabet, Abhi’s mum was giving him words that start with the English alphabet and when the letter W came, she said that the word ‘wife’ starts with W. Then he asked, “Who is a wife.” Then his mum explained, “Wife is a woman a man marries. For instance, Lakmali is your uncle’s wife. I am your dad’s wife.” Abhi asked, “Then why don’t I have a wife? I too want a wife.”

A Kiss to Abhi at Montessori

Abhilash, my son, had to enter a new Montessori in Ja-Ela since I had to come back to Colombo for my new job. This is a Montessori with hundreds of kids and not a small nursery like the one in Mahawilachchiya. I was kind of upset whether Abhi will be comfortable in such a big place. But he easily got used to it. Abhi’s mum had to carry him all the way to the nursery (about 2kms) for 4 days and I did it on the fifth day and understood how difficult it was. So, we decided to pay for a van that took kids there and save our energy.

According to Abhi’s teacher he is doing well in the Montessori. Even at home he is more occupied with his books than with his toys. He already knows how to write all the letters in English alphabet and some letters in Sinhala alphabet. He can also count up to 10 in both Sinhala and English.

One thing we can’t encourage Abhi to was to worship his teacher. This was a problem in his old Montessori as well. In the new Montessori all the other kids worshiped the lady teacher but Abhi was so stubborn and did not worship her. When Abhi’s mum tried to make him do it gently, the teacher said, “Don’t worry, Abhi is a good boy. I like him. He will learn worshiping later.” and kissed him on the cheek. Abhi wiped his face where it was kissed with his hands immediately while saying “Eeeee… kechay kechay… oyage daadi ganday” (Eek! You smell of sweat.) The teacher blushed. We too were embarrassed. I don’t know how to deal with Abhi.

Abhi and New Year Festival at the Montessori

This time I saw Abhi, my son, after two months. It was a long wait for both of us. I went to Mahawilachchiya to see him and by the time I reached there he was at his Montessori. He didn’t come to me when he saw me as he felt very shy. It took a little while for him to feel comfortable with me. He was playing at kids’ play place with his friends. I was happy to see him mingling with the children without fear because he was admitted to the Montessori a month later to the other kids.

Montessori teacher invited me to join the next session, the story telling time with the children and few parents who had come. It was an interesting session with all kids becoming very active suddenly. Story was the one where the cranes take a tortoise to a pond by air and it had been retold several times as I understood. Kids were rolling on the floor while listening to the story and only Abhi was comfortably seated on a chair. I asked him to sit on floor like the other kids then the teacher said, “No sir, Abhi never sits on the floor. He sits only on chair.” Hmm.. Already stubborn. Let’s see how it goes in years to come.

After the Montessori was over, I took Abhi home by bike. As soon as we went home he showed me his books with pride. He had done all the homework on previous days and he was complaining that the teacher doesn’t give him sufficient homework. He already writes Sinhala and English letters, colors pictures, draws pictures and writes numbers. As far as I know, the kids are not supposed to write letters at the Montessori level but the teacher must be teaching letters to the kids due to parents’ urge.

Abhi’s Montessori had organized a kids’ New Year festival on the 7^th Saturday. I took him to the Montessori with his grandma. Abhi took part in the second item, the mini-marathon. Before it started, his grandma told me not to be in a place where Abhi can see me lest he would not run. I didn’t trust her and I wanted to see him running and take photographs while he ran. Race started and Abhi came 2^nd or 3^rd in the race. I couldn’t believe him running that fast such a big distance. When he reached closer I went closer to the road with the camera and he stopped right in the middle and said, “I won’t run if you are here.” That was the end of the race for him. I should have listened to his grandma and stayed away from the race. He didn’t take part in any of the remaining events after that. I spoilt Abhi’s day. He feels shy when I am around. Perhaps, if I can be with him more often than this, he will be comfortable with me. I hope I can be with Abhi more often than this once he goes to his new Montessori in Ja-Ela from late April onwards.

Abhi spent the rest of the day with kids’ play place in the Montessori with other kids. I felt uncomfortable when older kids drag and push Abhi while playing lest it would hurt him but Abhi tolerated all that with a smile. I felt like shouting at the older kids when some of them were extremely hostile to Abhi (not particularly targeting him) but Abhi was always with a smile. He taught me that he should learn how to survive in the hostile world too.

With Abhi, at Rice Fields … … …

Abhi (my 3-year-old son) loves going to rice fields. He loves the experience as he can see different kinds of birds, frogs, dragonflies, crabs, etc. Since he loves going on motorbike, I took him to the fields on the motorbike. On the way we saw a mongoose and few peacocks. I had to stop the bike till they crossed the road and disappeared from the scene for Abhi to see them closely. He is the one to spot the animals before I do.

On the path to the rice fields there was a quagmire created due to the overnight rain. Thinking that the bike would pass through the quagmire without much trouble, I put the bike into it and it got bogged down. It won’t go any further and the wheels would revolve on the same pot. Since I needed more freedom to get the bike out of the bog I suggested Abhi that I would keep him down and take the bike out. He strongly refused. “Abhi doesn’t like mud. Abhi’s feet will be in mud. Abhi will stay on the bike.” I had to pull the bike out of the bog with great difficulty without letting Abhi fall off. For the first time, I regretted for buying such a big bike.

On the way to the fields I saw footmarks of an elephant. Abhi loves elephants. He already knows the difference between an elephant and a tusker. I showed him the foot marks. Abhi was surprised of the size of the foot marks. He is yet to see a real elephant. (During night elephants come into the village and villagers light firecrackers to chase them out. Whenever a firecracker sound is heard even during day time, Abhi would say, “Hush! Elephants…)

Abhi was very excited to see the different types of storks in the rice fields. It was the season of tilling the fields and hundreds of birds were there looking for their food, the worms. Abhi has a picture book of birds and he was identifying some of the storks in the books with the real ones in the field. His favorite stork is flamingo (translated in the book as Siyakkaaraya) and he doesn’t find any of them in the field. He would say, “There is no Siyakkaraya in the rice field. They are only in the book.”

While walking in the rice field (of course I had to carry him all the while since he hates mud) I showed him some bird’s eggs that were on a small mound. The eggs were smaller than chicken egg and to see whether Abhi understood the difference between the two types, I asked him whether he would eat those eggs boiled. His answer was, “Abhi doesn’t eat eggs on the mud, Abhi eats eggs in the fridge only.)

At Deyata Kirula Exhibition with Abhilash

I had decided not to visit Deyata Kirula exhibition though it was held in my area (Oyamaduwa, Mahawilachchiya) not because that I am against it but simply because I don’t like to mingle with large crowds. But when my wife said that my 3-year-old son, Abilash is interested in seeing it, especially because of the train and the airplanes he saw on TV at Deyata Kirula, I decided to take him there.

I saw Abhilash after a month! At first he snubbed me but in few minutes after I carried him in my hands, he again became friendly as ever. The exhibition was held in a 400-acre extensive land. Carrying Abhi all over the place was very difficult since he is growing up fast and heavier than he used to be. But he wouldn’t go to anyone else. (We were with Abhi’s mum, grandma, aunts and little cousin brother too.) Abhi insisted that ONLY I carry him. I felt proud but it took its toll on my body as we had to walk from 10 am to 7pm carrying him. Abhi can walk and run when he pleases but that day was one of those days he refused to move an inch on foot.

First we went to see how oil is drilled but it didn’t impress Abhi much. He spotted the airplane at Civil Aviation Authority exhibition premises and insisted he would see that. Since the queue to get into the plane was too long, we thought of being content with by only looking at it and touching it. We went inside the exhibition stall and Abhi could sit on an airplane seat inside the hall. I promised him I would take him on a real airplane some day. He enjoyed this exhibition stall a lot as he could see airplane engines, fans, etc.

Our next stop was at an aquatic resource related exhibition stall. Abhi loves fish. (He loves to eat fish too. When he misses it at his meals he complains to his mother, “Achchi (grandma) didn’t give me fish today.” He enjoyed pictures of fish here but there weren’t real ones. (But later we came to know that there were real fish in another stall but we missed it.) There was a huge fish-shaped construction that one could enter inside the body of it but we didn’t go inside since the queue was too long.

Abhi loves ice-cream. He ate a full ice-lolly at the age of 6 months! Just after he started foods other than breast milk. Whenever he sees an ice-cream van he says, “Appachchi (dad), there is ice-cream.” He won’t stop till I buy one for him. His mother likes ice-cream more than he does. So I have to oblige both.

Abhi wanted to go on merry-go-round. He and his little cousin brother were taken in it by Abhi’s mum and aunt. To Abhi’s disappointment, they didn’t give him sufficient time since there were too many kids in waiting and they reduced the time for a ride to accommodate other kids. Cannot complain.

Next we went to the exhibition stall maintained by the Civil Security Force. There was nothing much for Abhi to get excited and we all were hungry at that time. CSF had a cheap but good food stall but they had only fried-rice. We wanted rice and curry since we were excessively hungry. Besides, carrying Abhi everywhere made me even hungrier. We settled for a food stall elsewhere and Abhi’s uncle and aunt volunteered to queue up for the food. We sat on the grass under the shade of a huge tree and were waiting for food packets. It took a while for them to reach us as there were thousands of people in the exhibition. Food was more to the disappointment of us. Curries were tasteless. There wasn’t sufficient pepper and salt. Food tasted more like water!! We in the Dry Zone are used to hotter food and this food was quite unacceptable but since we were very hungry we had to gulp it down. I am a fast eater and finished it in an instant. Abhi complained. “Abhi wants more chicken…” He had finished his mother’s chicken portion and grandma’s as well. I felt very sorry for my fast eating habit as I couldn’t offer him my chicken portion. Next time around, I will wait till Abhi finishes his food. I want to see him growing big and strong to be able to play rugby, a game I myself never played.

After lunch we went to transport related exhibition stall. Abhi liked it a lot as he loves buses and trains. (Abhi’s maternal grandfather has two buses and he has selected the older but brighter colored bus as Abhi’s bus and the newer but white colored bus as his cousin brother’s bus. He recognizes the difference between the two buses by just hearing their sounds. When Abhi’s grandpa comes home in the evening after the day’s work Abhi goes to him and helps him count the money. He gets a coin or two as his fee and he puts them in his piggy bank.) Abhi enjoyed the miniature trains and buses in the exhibition stall. Next we took him on a real double-decker. He must have wondered how on earth a bus can be on the roof of another bus.

We next took him on a mini-train. It cost us 10 rupees per ride but it was worth the experience. It is Abhi’s first time in a train. He was over the moon. (Must take him on train to Nuwara Eliya or Matara soon.)

While walking to the Air Force exhibition premises he suddenly heard a sound of a helicopter. (He is very sensitive to the sounds of helicopters and airplanes as he lived the first two years of his life in Ja-Ela, quite closer to the Katunayaka airport and the Air Force base.) He yelled, “Appachchi, there is a helicopter!” It flew few times very low and Abhi was very happy and suddenly it went very high up in the sky (the PA system announced 10,000 feet) but Abhi could still see it. Then the airmen started jumping out of it with parachutes. Abhi enjoyed the various colors of the parachutes but I wonder whether he knew that there were men in them. It was a spectacular scene for him though.

Next we went inside the Air Force exhibition stall and Abhi was thrilled. That is his pet area, the aircrafts. I took him to closer to a black helicopter and had my chance to show him the difference between a table fan and helicopter fan. Earlier when at home, while looking at his picture book, he usually asks me the names of the parts of the helicopter. When he shows the fan of the helicopter and asks what it is, I used to say it is the fan. Then he says, “Ah! Daadi fan. (Fan to get rid of the sweat.) I tried to convince him that the fan in the helicopter is for some other purpose but he never seemed to understand it. But here I am in front of a real helicopter and I had my chance to show the difference. He understood it quite easily. “This is not daadi fan. This is helicopter fan,” he said. How quick the kids learn.

I took him into another Air Force helicopter and seated him there for a while with the help of airmen. Abhi refused to get off.  Airmen had to take him off as there were other kids waiting and Abhi refused and almost hit an airman. He was laughing. We took him around the exhibition area and he saw many different types of aircrafts and helicopters and this is the area he enjoyed most. By the time we finished the Air Force stall, Abhi started leaning on my shoulder and fell on sleep. We decided to leave the exhibition by then.

The pain in the whole body due to excessive walking and carrying Abhi around lasted few days. After few days the pain in the right foot still existed and when I checked there was a trace of a small wound just under the nail of the big toe. I went to a surgeon and he said the wound is infected and the nail has to be removed immediately. I got it done at the government hospital in Anuradhapura. That is Deyata Kirula for me! I don’t complain. I enjoyed every bit of it with Abhi and the family.

Last year . … …

I spent last year and a month without a job and all what I could do during this period was reading some interesting books, surfing the net and tweeting. It wasn’t at all easy to be without an income. I just managed to do some small time assignments and earn few bucks too. I stayed in Anuradhapura during all this time and made only very few visits to Colombo. After all the negative things that happened since 2008, this was a well-earned rest to reorganize myself and make up my mind to do something productive again. At last I have regained my strength and ready to get involved in a new venture, again related to rural development in the former war-zone in Sri Lanka.

During last year I saw my son Abhilash growing up to a 3-year-old young man and the changes of him were really amazing and encouraging. Before he became three, he could read Sinhala and English alphabets almost completely and started reading letters on passing buses, etc. He had a great thirst for picture books and plastic letters and numbers. Gayani (my wife) was instrumental in making Abhilash interested in books more than I was. I just supplied the material while she helped Abhi whenever he wanted. We never forced him to read picture books and it was him who brought the books to someone and asked for help to identify the pictures. He preferred airplanes and bulldozers over everything else. He learnt to speak very fast during this year. I love him calling me “Appachchi” (father) and the love and pride I feel for him when he calls so cannot be explained in words. He loves to go on motorbike rides around the village with me and he already knows how to put the key in keyhole and start the motorbike with the self-starter. While I ride he is the one who toots the horn and switches the lights on and off. It is fun riding with him describing everything he is interested on the way. I never get tired of him. His biggest surprise of life seems that how can cat and peacock make the same sounds!