My Smart Ex-Girlfriend – Valentine’s Day Special … … …


My Hazel-Eyed Ex

Even though I will be 47 years old (in 10 days) and getting closer to leaving the planet than holding onto it, I feel that I should write something romantic on this Valentine’s Day. Similar to the other young men who do on the blogosphere, even though the incident below did not happen on a Valentine’s Day I am writing it here for the romantic aspect of it. I will not rule out the intention of ridiculing the cultural police too

Shady trees in Lake Tissa Wewa

These trees are on the bund of Tissa Wewa (Lake) in Anuradhapura, Sri Lanka. It was here that I used to meet my beautiful, hazel-eyed ex-girlfriend more often than not during a less than 1 year of courtship between March 2002 and 2003. To reminisce about this short romance and courtship which ended abruptly is still hurtful to me.

Well, to come back to the story, we did not have any other place to meet each other other than this Nature Park in Anuradhapura where I first saw this charming damsel by chance while she was walking in the park with her older sister. I had the first romantic encounter with this charmer but was banned from the park the next day, not only us but also the rest of the courting couples in and around Anuradhapura. Maybe because we two were more amorous than the regular couples in the park, the administrators of the park thought it should not be open for ANY couple, even for the decent ones anymore!

The Exact Place Where I First Saw My Hazel-Eyed Beauty in 1999 – Exactly 20 Years Ago.

With no access to the Nature Park, our next destination was Tissa Wewa (lake) bund, there was no cultural police there, well not as yet. We used to take a tuk tuk here and spend hours under the shade of a tree talking endlessly. One fateful day, suddenly around 20-30 STF (Special Task Force) personnel – the elite police commando unit that was created to fight the ruthless Tamil Tiger terrorists surrounded us. They advised us that courting couples are not allowed in the area since this was part of the
Sacred City of Anuradhapura. They ordered both of us to go to their vehicle, a huge military truck and they stated that they were going to request her parents to come to the police station and then get us married. But we both were 18+ and sitting under a tree holding hands cannot be a criminal offence. We both were shocked with this intrusion and the intimidation. (Well, now I feel that I should have let them marry us off so that our romance would have ended beautifully. But it was not to be.)

A File Photo in which the Sri Lanka police are going to intimidate lovers in a beach

Anyway, my girlfriend was smarter than I was. (Well, every woman is for that matter.) She told the chief of the police commando unit that she doesn’t want to influence the law enforcement authorities, but her elder brother also was in the police force. Then the Chief asked what his name was. She said A. S. P. (Surname.) A. S. P. stands for Assistant Superintendent of Police, a higher rank in the police force above that of a senior inspector. They then immediately released us and as we were walking back to the city, holding hands once again. I told my girlfriend, that had I known before that her older brother was holding such a high rank in the police force and I would have had second thoughts before starting a courtship with her (Like every other place, some police officers in Sri Lanka too could be obnoxious). She then laughed out loud and said, “A. S. P. is not his rank. They are his initials. “Too bad I lost such a smart woman as my partner for the rest of my life.”

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7 Myths about Jaffnites – Column 01 of From the Palmyra Peninsular to the Rest of Sri Lanka | තල් අරණින් ලක් දෙරණට|


INTRODUCTION 

I started writing a column with my firsthand experiences in Jaffna from November 01, 2018. You can read, comment, contradict or clobber my writing if you like and I will allow them as long as they do not defame someone (or something.) Also, if you try to promote hatred, racial abuse and antisocial sentiments, I will have to moderate them. But you are allowed to construct a sensible dialog on my posts.

I would be grateful if anyone who reads the column could translate this to Sinhala and Tamil as well. Please let me know if you are ready for this on a voluntary basis or for a payment.

Thanks,

Nanda Wanninayaka

This is the first post … … …

Nanda Wanninayaka – (Column 01 on November 1, 2018 – From Palmyra Peninsula)

I agree with the fact that being in Jaffna for the last three months doesn’t make me a suitable analyst to make generalized comments about the Jaffnites – the people in Jaffna, Sri Lanka – a word coined by some random journalists and writers in their articles in Daily News and reminded me by my good friend Sunil Rutnayake from Kandy.) But being here since last July to date – even though I made some sporadic visits to Anuradhapura, Nuwara Eliya and Colombo during the said three months period – gave me some insight into the lives and lifestyles of this strangely attractive piece of land in the Northern Sri Lanka, Jaffna, the capital of the Northern Province of Sri Lanka.

So, I became bold enough to write about the 7 myths the people from the rest of the island have about the Jaffnites – or the Tamil community at large spread in the North, East, Central Sri Lanka and the rest of the country. I sincerely welcome you all to comment on my observations and correct me in the places where I have gone wrong. If I have hurt your feelings by writing what I think is right, I apologize in advance. I try my best to remain unbiased in this (and in the rest of my columns.) But the chances are that I would be biased to Jaffna and Jaffnites than to anything or anyone else I guess. I already have fallen in love with Jaffna and, as for falling in love with a Jaffnitee, it is too early to say. Don’t rule out the possibility either.

  1. Jaffnites are dark

I know it is not politically correct about being apartheidic at this age and time but as I was the one who was humiliated (more than the Great Nelson Mandela was) and denied of my true love 15 years ago for being “BLACK,” not even brown or dark most Sri Lankans are usually categorized when it comes to the complexion. My Nendamma-in-law to-be (she was not to be anyway) grossly opposed my romantic advances to her fair daughter from a small hamlet from Mihintale, Anuradhapura as my mother-in-law to-be flatly rejected me as she bluntly (and reportedly) told my sweetheart that the former didn’t want “black grandchildren” from a possible (unholy) union between her beautiful daughter and me. My poor girlfriend had the worst opposition a young lover girl could have from her mother and even though we continued a romantic relationship for merely a year, she had to leave me in the lurch as her mom correctly calculated that her son-in-law not-to-be had a fat chance of getting the complexion converted at least to brown if not to fair. I didn’t want to become a Michael Jackson by changing my skin color and that was the end of an otherwise sweet love story. (Anyway, I am happy and proud of my black complexion. I wish I were as black as an African dude and as strong as well.)

My Ex from Mihintale
My Ex from Mihintale

Coming back to the issue in question here, most people think Jaffnites are darker than the people in the rest of the island. This is a big mistake you all do. Spend some time in a small village, a semi urban tiny town or in Jaffna city and you would be surprised the rainbow of colors of cute young girls and women who are pink (රෝස පාට,) fair, orange (I would rather say තැඹිලි පාට – color of the king coconuts,) brown and occasionally dark too. But even the darker girls here have an inexplicable radiance only R. K. Narayan will find the right words to explain. I am no Narayan and not even Kushwant Singh for that matter.

A random photo of girls in Jaffna.
A random photo of girls in Jaffna. This will be replaced with a photo I take soon. Photo Credits: http://jhlc.mysch.lk/

Well, as for the boys or men here, I don’t care if they are black, white, orange, pink, green or even indigo color because I am not simply interested in them. All what I can say about the boys and men here is that they look very strong.

2. Jaffnites are studious

Maybe there was such time in the past. But not anymore. Maybe the three-decade-long bitter war that reduced Jaffna to rubble, students in Jaffna don’t seem that interested in studies as they used to be 30 years ago. I have heard my parents say that the schoolboys and girls in Jaffna study so hard by even putting their feet in a basin full of cold water under their study tables not to fall asleep during nights and read books with kerosene oil lamps after their hard days’ work in their farms. I wish that was the case today too but, unfortunately, it is not so anymore here. Here boys are looking for quick jobs and leave schools early. Girls are happy to end up as a cashier-cum-salesgirl in a mobile phone accessory shop – or even more common – end up as a machine operator at a garment factory doing the same boring job of stitching the same part of the same dress for eternity. Where are those doctor, engineer, lawyer, accountant, teacher, etc. aspirants that we were told by our parents to take examples as when we were schoolboys who had no such great dreams? I feel sorry for this situation and SOMETHING MUST BE DONE immediately before it is too late.

3. Jaffnites are rude

I don’t know how such a myth even came into existence. Jaffnites have been traditionally very humble people. This humility could well be mistaken by some less educated or arrogant people from rest of the island that these people are timid or should be suppressed or humiliated. I once visited Vigneswara College, Jaffna in 2009 or 2010 while I was working as a Consultant to the Ministry of Education, Colombo. The principal of the school was an elderly gentleman who was about to retire. He was so humble when welcoming me and kept calling me “Sir.” I told him very gently that I don’t deserve or want to be called a “sir” because I might be your son’s age and you are the one who should be called sir, due to your education, age, behavior. He was a graduate and a senior person in the educational field and I was (and am) neither. But I failed in convincing him and instead we both called each other “sir” and it ended up with such a lot of humor, satire and fun we both enjoyed to the hilt. He is not the only one who maintains this great quality of humility and don’t humiliate them for this good quality which is a rare commodity among most people in the rest of the country these days.

4. Jaffnites are unclean

Like this apartheid thing, this is an area I don’t like to touch but I think it is my duty to do the justice to these people in Jaffna who are very clean and also keep their houses very clean, may their houses range from palaces to shanties, but they are equally well maintained and kept clean and tidy. The village I mostly live, Maniyanthoddam has a lot of tiny houses in small plots of lands but they are incredibly clean. That doesn’t mean that there could be an exception or two, but they say, “The exception (only) proves the rule,” don’t they? So, folks in the rest of the island, come and see yourself, don’t trust me because I am in love with Jaffna and love is blind. Isn’t it?

5. Jaffnites are hard workers

Sorry, Jaffnites, I wouldn’t give you this credit. What I had heard was you guys are hard workers but things have changed a lot, haven’t they? I see a lot of teenagers, youths and middle-aged people just waste time with doing nothing. Teenagers and the youths are the worst of them. They spend the time by the roadside just glued onto their smartphones and ride big Indian motorbikes to break the speed barriers. But I get the feeling that these iron horses are possibly bought on lease – god knows how they pay the monthly premiums – and I hardly see any of them is engaged in any praiseworthy or productive work. I tried to find some of them jobs in Colombo where they can get jobs as apprentices in different trades and they will be paid a decent remuneration even during their trainee period and sometimes they would even get food and lodging in some cases, but they are not simply interested in. One cannot blame the war for everything and make it the scapegoat. At least we are a lucky nation to end the war for good in 2009 and after May 19, the day which the war was ended from the government’s side and “the guns were silenced” from the rebels’ side, not a single bomb was exploded. Take Afghanistan, Iraq, Libya, Syria, (hopefully and sadly Iran next,) for example. In the above-mentioned countries expect the one within parenthesis, suicide bombs, car bombs, American and NATO bombs, Russian bombs go on weekly to daily basis. But, in Sri Lanka, after the day the war ended officially on that fateful May 19, 2009, the only thing that explodes in Sri Lanka is popcorn!

6. Jaffnites are thrifty

This fact (of Jaffnites being traditionally thrifty) also is hanging in the balance now. It is true that late J. R. Jayewardene’s unregulated and unnecessarily hastened Open Economic Reforms didn’t find its way to Jaffna in such a disastrous way it did to the rest of the country. Its chances of messing up the hitherto frugal lifestyles of the Jaffnites was low as the breakout of the Civil War in 1983 limited the open economic reforms do (un)desired damages to the Jaffnites. A long-standing closure of A9 Highway that connected Jaffna with the rest of the country also reduced the influx of not-so-necessary consumables to Jaffna but the illegal and unstoppable smuggling of (mostly counterfeit) consumer goods reached Jaffna through sea channels from Tamil Nadu. Still the non-availability of reliable electricity that forced the Jaffnites to run their modest and age-old vehicles and other electronic appliances to run with foul-smelling kerosene fuel and kerosene-fueled generators denied a full-scale thrust of electronic appliances upon the Jaffnites. I think the electricity from the national grid was not available for a very long time since the inception of the Civil War till it was restored after the conclusion of the same in 2009.

But the end of the Civil War and the consequent opening of the A9 road opened the floodgates of both necessary and unnecessary home appliances, electronic gadgetry, unaffordable and unmaintainable luxury vehicles that ate into the monthly salaries and seasonal income of the Jaffnites and not the ex-president Mahinda Rajapaksa who ended the war, but the late president J. R. Jayewardene who introduced the open economic reforms must have had the last laugh at the Jaffnites. As a result, you see the Jaffnites also falling prey to highly consumer-driven lifestyles that don’t help themselves or the constant handouts sent by their overseas relatives. But there might be some people who still save money or invest money in gold jewelry like they used to in the past but I am afraid the numbers could not be that big. People here also go extravagant in spending now with the mushrooming vehicle sales, electronic shops and supermarkets that offer tricky easy payment systems and dreadful credit card based payments. Sorry folks! That is peace for you.

7. Jaffnites are hostile to the Sinhalese

This is the worst myth among the rest. The 30-year-long bitter Civil War hasn’t dampened the spirits of these gentle Jaffnites a bit. I don’t speak or understand Tamil and wherever I go I speak first in Sinhala (failing which English) to get directions, any other help and there are zillions of Jaffnites come and help me with broad smiles. Me being (or happened to be) a Sinhalese doesn’t make any difference to these warm-hearted people. Maybe I get even more help once they know I am Sinhalese and they help me in a great deal to get what I want. They even give me free rides in their bicycles, motorbikes, etc. The only question I can ask myself is, “Why the hell did we fight for 30 years and for what?”

  • This is by no means a post written based on scientific research and not a scholarly work at all. These findings are totally my personal findings and observations and not supported by a proper and longer study. So, you have the right to differ and object. Kindly do so under “comments” area below this post.

Nilminimala – A Budding Young Artist


 

Nilminimala Smile

Nilminimala Ariyarathna

This was written by me in March, 2000

Having seen some extraordinarily beautiful paintings that were done by a young village lass, I was desperate to meet the artist. She lived in a very remote typically traditional village on the outskirts of Mihinthale, Anuradhapura. I visited the artist personally with a teacher of mine on Sunday the 24 of March 2002. The road to her village was through some beautiful rice fields and a lush jungle. Most fascinating sight was the ancient Maha Kanadarawa reservoir.

nilminimala painting1

Nilminimala with one of her paintings.

We were warmly welcomed by the artist herself, a 20 year old, clad in a traditional dress called ‘cheeththa’. The whole appearance of Nilminimala, the artist, looked more like one of her own paintings. This typically shy village lass had something that most Sri Lankan girls do not possess – hazel eyes. One cannot accept the fact that she is an amateur in painting. The colors she uses, though very cheap ordinary water colors, are amazingly matching. The painting which caught my eyes was the ‘blue lady’s painting done only with different blue shades of the color blue.

Nilminimala Painting2

Nilminimala with one of her paintings.

She draws oil paintings as well. Most of her paintings depict rural village scenes with shepherds, beautiful damsels, people working in rice fields, girls bathing in rivers, etc. Having asked why she paints village scenes she says, “That’s all I see in and around the village. I’m fascinated by the surroundings. I wonder why the city people mock at these villages for the simple fact that the villages are rural. Yes we don’t have the facilities the city folks have, but we have the freedom and the calmness which you’ll never have in a city.”

I too understood that it is the environment that produced this budding artist. She must be the luckiest person to have a mother who teaches in the village school, and a parent who encouraged the child to choose a field like painting in spite of the fact that such proficiency do not have a demand in the job market.

nilminimala painting3

Nilminimala with one of her paintings.

To my question about her future aspects as a professional painter, her replay was;

“I love painting and I do it for fun. I can spend hours on a painting. It takes a long time to finish a good painting”.

Unfortunately she doesn’t know the real value of her own paintings. She says that her paintings have never been appreciated except by her mother and other teachers who taught her art of drawing.

Nilminimala

I showed some pictures that I had edited with a computer and she was greatly impressed and was keen to learn it. Her deep interest indicated that she has the potential of becoming a most talented computer graphic artist too. Buying a computer with the necessary software is far above reach for her.

Nilminimala will be a part of Horizon and Horizon website would be decorated with her artwork with the next update.

P. S.

Unfortunately this plan did not work. Had the plans went the exact way we expected, things would have been very different by now. She could have been the next Picasso. Such a talent going into the waste ………. Life is like that.